Tuesday, January 17, 2012


Today was a MUCH better day! First, my husband came home last night, and stayed all night, which was grand, I slept MUCH better. I think the past 5 days he worked like 92 hours.
Last night E.J. reminded me that maybe I should cool it on the exercise a little. I have had this happen several times where I get a little gung ho and I think my body decides I need to hold on to what I've got just in case, which makes no since to me, but anyway..... two examples, a few years ago I was 194 lbs. I got a personal trainer for a 8 weeks, had a near perfect 1200 cal diet, worked out with her tons and cardio without her and lost only 2 lbs, in 8 weeks.
I was excited about tae bo, back in the day. :) lol and did 4 weeks of that 5x a week, with a great diet and lost zero pounds.
Anyway, when this happens, and it has happened plenty, I do best when I cut my calories and don't kill myself at the gym. I know I need muscles, and I will still do squats, lunges, push ups and sit ups,moderate walking and Zumba as often as possible.
My goal is to lose 100 lbs. If I cannot lose consistently I will get discouraged and quit. :/ I am in this for the long haul. My "diet" is a way of life not a quick fix and I cannot wait to be able to run 6 or more miles or workout for 2 hours a day. I actually LOVE exercising, I just feel like I need to cool it a bit. :) That is what I will have to do to maintain and firm up I am certain, just not right now.
I could possibly add more calories, but as a food addict it is kind of tricky.It is hard to allow myself to have more of something I wish I could just quit altogether. I think once I have a handle on my food issues. I can figure out more of that. That is one of the reasons I think having a food addiction is one of the hardest addictions to have. You cannot just quit food. You have to learn how to live with it, not really without it. I think that is one of the reasons I don't enjoy cooking. It sounds stupid but I guess it is probably similar to other addictions, it is easier to "hide" food by eating in the car, or eat out at a restaurant because then I can indulge in eating food that I wouldn't normally feel is ok to buy to have in the house. I can't enjoy something I feel guilty eating. OY! I guess that's part of what I hope to get out of my visit to the Biggest Losers fitness Ridge. Is to learn how to cook healthy meals that I don't have to feel guilty about eating. :)
If you don't have a food addiction I may sound like a total crazy person to you. :) Sorry, I don't claim not to be a crazy hot mess. lol
Lastly, I just want to say I feel SO less crazy and down to day. I cannot begin to tell YOU how much I appreciate the love and encouragement that I get from all of you. By comments on here or on FB. I even got a card in the mail from my mom today. It was so cute and encouraging. <3
The Bible verse on it was Hebrews 12;1b. "...let us run with the endurance the race that is set before us."
Love ya'll, I know we all have different struggles I hope I can be an encouragement to you in whatever it is.


  1. ...so happy you had a victorious day!

    Psalm 23:1 "The Lord is my shepherd; I have everything I need."...so DO I! You are a blessing!

    I love you girl!

  2. i love this! I totally get it! TOTALLY! too totally!!! I loveyou!!

    I'm better with eliminating everything than just trying to eat a little of something. I also remember how disappointed I was when I was working out like a man and lost 2.6 pounds in 3 weeks!

    I am so proud of you for being out there and honest!