Wednesday, September 3, 2014

There and Back Again

Oh my word!! There and back again by Bilbo Baggens. Crazy. True story.

I don't know why exactly I want to blog about my crazy instead of writing it in a journal. I keep thinking my dream life I would not tell people what I eat, when I workout or what I weigh. I would like to just BE SKINNY one day and be like those crazy people who just say, I just ate right and exercised and the weight fell off". Or "I just don't feel like eating anymore."

Maybe because it will never be that easy for me... I don't know. Never the less, hear I am AGAIN telling the universe how done being fat I am.

So yesterday I weighed in at 269 dreadful pounds, and today I was back to my previously horrific weight of 266.

The other thing is this, there is an accountability factor in checking in a the gym, and when people say that they are encouraged by me getting my booty moving I can't help but tell them every time.

That being said... I am going to be a tiny bit quieter about it in the future.

I have almost nothing else to say except to say that my first goal is to get to 239, which is still nauseatingly fat BUT, my future goal is 140 and I cannot wait to not have to know and say and hear that I am more than 100 pounds over weight. I honestly wish I could just starve until then.
That's only 27 pounds. I can figure that out. right.

LSL <3

Keep on keepin' on

Happy New Year!!!

Technically it is already 14 days in. We had winter break from Jack's school until the 6th then snow days until the 9th. All that to say I didn't check in mentally for a new start until Monday the 13th.

Checking in for me, once again means weighing in. This year I officially reached the heaviest weight I have EVER been. That includes when I was ready to deliver my son. It wasn't really a surprise, I have had terrible eating habits all summer. I never wanted to go to Hawaii fat, but that goal came and went this June. I think I was in the 230's and 240's when we got back.

Once Jack started back to school I started exercising again but never had good consistant eating habits. Until Christmas wine and baking, I had never seemed to break 256... well, I should have known that could really only go on for so long.

So, happy 2014, I started January 13th weighing 266 big ones.
It's not like I'm happy with that. I'm not going to pretend I was almost suicidal about it either though. I earned every pound and hate myself plenty along the way. As you can imagine, I have out grown EVERYTHING. So that doesn't help me feel better either.

I think I just have a healthier mindset than I have in the past. The day I weigh myself and weigh over 200 pounds, and just don't care....that's when I'll be in real trouble.

Thankfully for me, and unfortuantly for my him, my husband has a few pounds to lose as well. I always lose more when he is on board with the program.

I have set a goal to lose 65 pounds to start. By then I should feel a little better and start getting my face back.

I will be doing Zumba at least 4 days a week combined with some extra cardio and weigh training. So far my eating plan is just being smart.

Wednesday, July 24, 2013

Things that Stick

If you have ever had a conversation with me, I'm sure you've noticed I'm not a great communicator. It's just true. I have a hard time organizing thoughts and I talk fast and mumble sometimes. I usually have plenty to say and I don't think much before things start spilling out all over the place.

So plenty of the time I feel misunderstood and honestly plenty of the time I couldn't repeat to you word for word what I just said. Not because I didn't mean it, but because I probably said it as I thought it and retain almost nothing.

I have to say, my mom and I tease sometimes about some things that she said to me in my teenage years that she said lightly or in passing but I will never forget them. Like that I,"don't have a creative bone in my body" or "if you always say no when people ask you to do things, they will stop asking you to do things." or " your make up on your face doesn't match your neck! Take a mirror outside in the sun light!"
I guess life is just like that. Some things just stick.

Last week I had a moment like that. My son and I took my mom to lunch for her birthday and I had to get up to take him to the bathroom. As I was leaving the table, my mom said something like,"when you get back make sure you finish telling me about.. Or I want to hear more about..." Whatever it was that I was talking about.

I'm so thankful that those words stuck! or that the thought stuck i guess. I just keep thinking about it. It felt really nice to be heard. It meant a lot more than I'm sure she would have thought it did, that she cared about what I had to say. That, what was going on in my life was important and worth listening to, no matter how poorly it was being communicated. I guess I'm just like everyone else. I want to be heard acknowledged and understood. At that moment it was just really nice to hear that from my momma.

I want her to know that what she says matters to me, and I am thankful that what I have to say matters to her as well <3

Love you momma <3

Peace, LSL

Monday, July 1, 2013

Big C

I was on my way to hang out with my dear friends who live in Novi this morning so I had some time in the car. One of my favorite Third Day CD's was in so I kept it on. I don't remember which song was on first, but it made me think of our time at Metro South Church. I don't mean to put down any other church band. I would not attend a church just because of it's band, BUT if I did, I'd choose Metro. E.J. and I were just saying we would really like to find a day to get to Metro soon, because we just love to worship there. I love how I can look around the room and know the hearts of the souls singing around the room. God is doing some amazing things there. Pastor Jeremy Schossau and the Dorbands and the others on staff really have a heart to reach the community and young people! Their enthusiasism is INSANE and inspiring!!!

As I was thinking about the Big C, God's church, I was remineded of all the beautiful things that are going on in all of the little C's we have had the pleasure of being a part of.

Bethedsa Baptist Church, in Allen Park will always feel like home because we got married there and it is the church I was mostly raised in. The people I grew up with there will always feel like family.

I am so excited about St. John's Lutheran Church in Waltz. It is the sweetest little church. It feels so naturally simplified. It's not modern, they don't have a big loud band. It has stained glass windows and is so soaked with tradition it brings me to tears almost every time I enter. It just ooses love and respect for Christ. Also, the way they pour into the lives of the children at the school is just amazing.

Last summer we had the priviledge of going to El Salvador, with Living Water International. This morning I was thinking about the team at Agua Viva. Every morning they have devotions and  sing praises to heaven in English and Spanish. It is the most beautiful sound when you can hear both at the same time! Then they go and work their pattoties off in the name of Jesus and proclaim his name EVERY DAY!

Even thinking of our dear'Journey, friends. That chruch plant wasn't around all to long but the people involved will always have a place in our hearts and I know it had it's purpose in our lives for the Kingdom. Some of the people that were there have followed their call into the city of Detroit. I know God is doing some amazing things through them as well.

Currently we are attending Harvest Bible Chapel, in Westland. We are privilidged to hear the word of God faithfully and unashamedly preached, by an EXCELLENT communicator and man of God, Pastor Dan McGhee. It has been awesome to see our small group be challenged and serving each other and in the church and community. There is a couple in our group who is from Pennsylvania and it is so cool that it really seems like God has brought them here for the primary purpose to use them in a huge outreach called Hope For Western Wayne County. This year, faithfully they are heading it up again and could use your help if you are available. :) Another couple in our small group,and their son, are headed to Africa this summer on their very first mission trip!! so exciting!!!

I just wanted to share what a blessing and a privilege it is to be apart of such an awesome BIG C, and all the little C's too.

Love love love.... LSL <3 peace

Bull Horn Guy

Bull Horn Guy

Is that even what they call it? A bull horn? Any ways, I think you know who I am referring to. The last guy I saw, heard, yelling at people about the end of days was actually in Detroit, on our walk to Comerica Park to see a Tigers game.

I really am to a point where I don't give them much thought anymore. But I some how got going on a weird train of thought the other day and I guess I almost feel like I cannot blog about anything else until I get this thought out of my head.

The weird thing for me is how the bull horn guy came to mind and this turned into an Independence Day post. Honestly, I plan nothing, ok, except vacations, I never plan on what to write about.

Anyways, I have participated in a few conversations lately about places like China and India where Christians are not safe to talk openly to others about their faith.
I have prayed for pastors over seas as I am sure many of you have who have been taken prisoner or even put to death for their faith. I guess because of my distance from these men I never really truly hurt for them.
 A very scary situation occurred recently with some Christians that I know through a chain of church family, and I prayed for them harder than I have probably every prayed for anything or any one. All of sudden the reality of our freedom in the United States hit me like a ton of bricks.

 There are so many freedoms and luxuries I take for granted in this country. Freedom of speech and freedom of religion are certainly up there on the list.

This somehow brought me to the bull horn guy. Do I like being yelled at? No. Do I like him yelling at non believers about hell and their need for Christ? No, and I don't thinks it's the most gracious or effective way to reach people and show them the love of Christ. However, I can appreciate greatly that he has the freedom to do so. Maybe he could even get in trouble for how loud he is, and that would be ok with me. But it got me to thinking. What am I doing with my freedom? I am certainly not yelling about Christ, I'm not even speaking about him to non believers most days.

So to the bull horn guy, I say kudos to you. Please yell away, shout it out, I bet he never regrets a word he says, or better yet, he won't go to sleep or die regretting what he didn't say.

On this Independence Day I will be sure to count my blessings and freedoms and praise the Lord that I live in a country where I can be safe and witness openly as a Christian. Please join me in prayer on our Independence Day for all of the believers in other countries where they are not free to live and witness openly as Christians, and I encourage you to exercise your freedom here in the US, while we still are free.

Mathew 5:16
Let your light shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven.

For I am not ashamed of the gospel of Christ, for it is the power of God unto salvation to every one that believeth; to the Jew first and also to the Greek.

Happy Independence Day friends!!
God Speed! peace <3

Tuesday, May 14, 2013

Detroit!!! IT"s the LAKE!!!!

Have you seen the movie Evan Almighty? Excuse me if you haven't, its a favorite at our house. I was in the car just now and had a light bulb moment and almost yelled out loud!!! ITS THE LAKE!!!!! It's the LAKE!!!

Translation, what if it's a school? What if Margie's vision, call from God is not just a community center? What if it's a Christian school in Detroit?

Is there a Christian school in Detroit? Is there one called Heritage Christian School? I don't know for sure about Heritage, that came later. I was just thinking it was kind of obvious what would be great to pass along would be our Christian Heritage.

Anyways, as Empty Buckets, we are reading the book BAREFOOT CHURCH, by Brandon Hatmaker. It is an AWESOME book that our fellow EB suggested. Some of us are currently having a hard time following the American dream, and really struggling with the American church. The consumerism and self service, and inward focus, to name just a few things.

We realize that we have our own city near by, not over seas that really needs to be redeemed. The city of Detroit needs Christ like San Salvador needs clean water. We are thirty minutes outside of the city and once inside, it feels like a third world country.

Last Friday the Empty Buckets went to visit a family that some of us had lost touch with over the past couple years, the Young's. They are a beautiful family that joined a church plant that some of us EB's were a part of. Even back then they had a call to plant a church in Detroit. They are in Detroit now faithfully following their call.

When we visited the other day, I know what hit most of us the hardest was that it is hard to serve the people in the city when you don't live there. Reaching in from afar is not as relational as any of us feel called to. Community is what most of us thrive on and are searching for what Christ has for us next.

I'm not saying that my family is ready to move into Detroit right this second. But what I am saying is that we are praying for direction and a clear calling on what to do next.

Back to the school idea that made me bust out the computer and start typing. E.J. (my husband) just called me about 2nd Mile Missions. It is a Mission that my sister in law's family started or helped start. They built a school in the Dominican Republic, I think it is actually several schools now, and I believe they are currently building a trade school. It's awesome!!!! You can even sponsor the children there just like you can with World Vision. They take mission trips there several times a year.

The more I thought about the school the more it seems like it could totally work. Margie could be the principle :) and lunch lady. Cesar could be the school counselor/ translator once he finishes school. Christy could teach music or something/translator. I could do landscaping/janitor/lunch lady/ something. Maybe Emily and Nathan Pergle could end up teaching there one day. Maybe SJ could teach? and Angela? Rachel could teach piano. Tricia, yes all the way from FL, just like Nathan and Emily....maybe GOD will call you, just saying. There are plenty of Christians around here, plenty of teachers, plenty of kids, and plenty for all of us EB's to do.

I don't know, I'm just dreaming right now but also, Detroit is a mission field just like any other city people are sent to. It would take some backing and support, but if a family can start a school in Bavaro, DR from Indiana. We could certainly start a school in Detroit, especially from Detroit.

Please just join us friends in prayer for Detroit, and for a clear call and possibly open doors. I don't know if it's a church, a school or just volunteering or a career with Habitat for Humanity or Blight Busters in Detroit, or partnering with the Youngs. Honestly, maybe it's not Detroit for all of us. Maybe it's some where else? But it is something. God is making a move of some sort, things are going to change, I can FEEL it!

I personally do not believe in coinsidence, I believe God in his perfect plan has brought us all together for a purpose, everone we know and love and support, who are trying to be faithful Christ followers. I appologize for calling some of you out and for those of you who we know who might get into this wonderful mess with all of us. Christ is King, he is in control and I will be praying that he uses you, yes YOU!

Also, please pray for the Young family living in Detroit. They are rockin the socks off Detroit city, honestly. What an encouragement they are. God Bless!

Peace <3

Wednesday, May 8, 2013

Be Good To Each Other

A couple of weeks go my friend Jennifer and I met up with another friend of ours in St. Louis Missouri. Her name is Tamara. Once a month Tamara and her boyfriend, Jeff, head up something they call a Be Good To Each Other Drive.

They put a call out on facebook for donations and friends to help and they take sandwiches and snacks and personal hygiene items and pass them out to the homeless or needy people in downtown St. Louis. Jennifer and I were fortunate enough to be able to go with them the weekend we came to visit.

I'm writing about this because first of all I am proud to be friends with people who can love and respect people in need and second of all because it really touched my heart.

It was raining the morning we went into St. Louis. The good thing about that is that when it rains Tamara and Jeff know that the homeless people head into the library. We came across a few people just walking around and then headed to the library. Once you show up passing out bags of goods, word spreads like wild fire. More and more people started pouring out of the library. While in front of the library, a woman came up to me and I handed her a bag and she said thank you. Then she proceeded to tell me that her name was Jessica, and she asked me to pray with her. I just want to remind you that we were not with a church and not passing out any thing with religious connotations on it. I don't know why she asked me to pray with her, but to me it really just felt like one of those God moments.

I don't know about you, but I don't pray out loud with strangers very often. But I do know that when she asked I did not even consider being shy or unsure about it. I am very sure that the Holy Spirit took over and gave me the courage and the words to say. I don't even know exactly what I said, but I know I prayed for comfort, provision and peace, and that she would feel the Lords presence with her. What was super awesome was to my surprise, once I finished,  she prayed too. It was awesome because she prayed with such conviction and belief, it was obvious that she has spent time crying out to God. I'm not saying that I thought that because she was homeless that she must not pray, it just caught me off guard. Jessica was scared and was praying, pleading boldly, expectantly, for a shield of protection.

After we prayed, she apologized for smelling like alcohol and then told me about another homeless woman that she knew that was just killed a few days earlier. The woman had been raped, strangled and was found dead and naked in the street. My heart just broke for Jessica and the woman who was murdered. I cannot imagine an hour in either of their shoes. Jessica was scared, and rightfully so.

I can't forget about her, and truthfully I don't want to. That day plays through my mind all of the time. I don't remember as often the fun that we had in the city. Most often I remember Jessica and how scared she was. I think of all of the scared homeless people throughout the world and its heart wrenching. My prayer is that The Lord continues to break my heart and provide me with opportunity to share his love and comfort, hope and resources with as many people as possible.

I am so thankful to know that at least once a month there are people showing love and respect to complete strangers in St. Louis, with no agenda or personal gain. That Saturday we passed out 88 lunches. Also, the more often they go, the less strangers they meet, and the more friends they will make.

Matthew 25:34-40 says

34 “Then the King will say to those on His right, ‘Come, you who are blessed of My Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world.35 For I was hungry, and you gave Mesomething to eat; I was thirsty, and you gave Me something to drink; I was a stranger, and you invited Me in; 36 naked, and you clothed Me; I was sick, and youvisited Me; I was in prison, and you came to Me.’ 37 Then the righteous will answer Him, ‘Lord, when did we see You hungry, and feed You, or thirsty, and give Yousomething to drink? 38 And when did we see You a stranger, and invite You in, or naked, and clothe You? 39 When did we see You sick, or in prison, and come to You?’ 40 The King will answer and say to them, ‘Truly I say to you, to the extent that you did it to one of these brothers of Mine, even the least of them, you did it to Me.’

Love in St.Louis