Wednesday, September 3, 2014

There and Back Again

Oh my word!! There and back again by Bilbo Baggens. Crazy. True story.

I don't know why exactly I want to blog about my crazy instead of writing it in a journal. I keep thinking my dream life I would not tell people what I eat, when I workout or what I weigh. I would like to just BE SKINNY one day and be like those crazy people who just say, I just ate right and exercised and the weight fell off". Or "I just don't feel like eating anymore."

Maybe because it will never be that easy for me... I don't know. Never the less, hear I am AGAIN telling the universe how done being fat I am.

So yesterday I weighed in at 269 dreadful pounds, and today I was back to my previously horrific weight of 266.

The other thing is this, there is an accountability factor in checking in a the gym, and when people say that they are encouraged by me getting my booty moving I can't help but tell them every time.

That being said... I am going to be a tiny bit quieter about it in the future.

I have almost nothing else to say except to say that my first goal is to get to 239, which is still nauseatingly fat BUT, my future goal is 140 and I cannot wait to not have to know and say and hear that I am more than 100 pounds over weight. I honestly wish I could just starve until then.
That's only 27 pounds. I can figure that out. right.

LSL <3

Keep on keepin' on

Happy New Year!!!

Technically it is already 14 days in. We had winter break from Jack's school until the 6th then snow days until the 9th. All that to say I didn't check in mentally for a new start until Monday the 13th.

Checking in for me, once again means weighing in. This year I officially reached the heaviest weight I have EVER been. That includes when I was ready to deliver my son. It wasn't really a surprise, I have had terrible eating habits all summer. I never wanted to go to Hawaii fat, but that goal came and went this June. I think I was in the 230's and 240's when we got back.

Once Jack started back to school I started exercising again but never had good consistant eating habits. Until Christmas wine and baking, I had never seemed to break 256... well, I should have known that could really only go on for so long.

So, happy 2014, I started January 13th weighing 266 big ones.
It's not like I'm happy with that. I'm not going to pretend I was almost suicidal about it either though. I earned every pound and hate myself plenty along the way. As you can imagine, I have out grown EVERYTHING. So that doesn't help me feel better either.

I think I just have a healthier mindset than I have in the past. The day I weigh myself and weigh over 200 pounds, and just don't care....that's when I'll be in real trouble.

Thankfully for me, and unfortuantly for my him, my husband has a few pounds to lose as well. I always lose more when he is on board with the program.

I have set a goal to lose 65 pounds to start. By then I should feel a little better and start getting my face back.

I will be doing Zumba at least 4 days a week combined with some extra cardio and weigh training. So far my eating plan is just being smart.