Monday, February 20, 2012

Stop Sign

Stop Sign is the name of a hike at Fitness Ridge. In the whole scheme of things it's not actually probably too difficult, but there is just something about it.

Before I tell you about my experience with Stop Sign I just have to share a few other cool moments that got me to Stop Sign.

I have, like I've said before, been dieting for about 16 years. I have had many successes along the way, but NEVER quite made my final goal and obviously never figured out how to keep the weight off.

The closest I ever came to keeping 70 pounds off was when my husband and I really took up running. We trained for and ran 2 half marathons. Well, the second one we mostly walked and didn't really prepare for, we just did it to support a friend, and when she was ready to walk we glady obliged :) Anyways, running sometimes more than 20 miles a week, we were able to keep our weight down for almost 2 years. Even after all that running... I still wasn't ever proud of my accomplishments because I was STILL FAT!! I didn't take up running for fun, I ran to lose weight. :/ Even 70 pounds down, I was still 30 to 40 pounds from my goal weight of 140.

Anyways, during my stay at Fitness Ridge I really struggled with feeling proud of myself. It was a LONG week of a lot of time to work hard, push and challenge yourself and THINK.

In one of our classes with Sione (from BL season 7) I kinda had a break thru. It was a REALLY hard class. Well,it was called Mountain. It was about a 45 minute class with 3-4 minute intervals to "reach the mountain". So it was a continuous push to the top, harder faster every 3-4 minutes. In the beginning he asked us to pick a goal, I was feeling like making the most of it and getting my booty kicked but I couldn't run because of my heel so I was on the bike so I picked maintaing my speed or increasing and getting to level 15. I knew it was going to be hard, but I HAD NO IDEA HOW HARD. I had only gone to 10 before EVER and I didn't ever think of pushing harder.

I told Tamara my goal, because she was next to me and I needed her to know so I would be sure I hit it.

Sione is really good at the whole "let yourself be great" speeches. The music was great, and loud like I like it and he was talking to us all about our families at home supporting us and cheering us on and about challenging ourselves and how we are stronger than we think we are and all this junk and I of course started crying and of course... I made my goal,it was really hard but I was sick of feeling like a failure and I decided then that I wasn't going to be a failure any longer.

The support I have from my husband, my parents, my extended family and friends is really UNBELIEVABLE TO ME!!! They are the BEST!!! If they all love me and believe in me then I was the only one to blame for holding myself back.

I was climbing the "mountain" when I remembered when my husband and I ran our first half marathon. My mom had our son, and our closest couple friends, Vicki and Darryl, were teaching at church that morning, so we didn't plan to look for anyone standing along the route, cheering us on.

As we were running, just after the route cleared out so we were running almost alone.... we SPOTTED VICKI AND DARRYL!!! It was an indescribable moment of love and appreciation!! We were kind of in shock the first time we saw them but we saw them a few more times and made sure to stop and hug them. I don't know why it meant so much to have them there cheering us on, but it did and I'll never forget it, it was SO encouraging!!!

Remembering that whole scenario while climbing the "mountain" of course didn't help the tears. <3

A few days later, it was my groups turn to do the Stop Sign. It was 4 miles and 1,000 ft incline. So it wasn't crazy steep, but up hill just enough, the ENTIRE WAY!!! It wasn't like it was a race, but I was with people who were at my "skill or speed level". It was the only hike where you could wear your headphones and it was just you and the mountain. I had no idea how far I had gone, and it was a whindy path so you couldn't even know if you were close really until you could actually finally see the stop sign at the end. I just kept pushing. I had just caught site of the yellow sign showing that there was a stop sign ahead and I was FINALLY so proud of myself for pushing and making it to the top, when one of our hike guides, drove by and said,"you're doing great!" and I lost it.... :) I don't know why sometimes it is so hard to feel proud of your accomplishments, but turns out it is. Somewhere I have a picture of myself still crying and hanging on to the Stop Sign.

Don't get me wrong, I know I cannot do ANYTHING without GOD's help!!!! I wouldn't even be on the planet without him and most days, probably not even out of bed. We were just reading in John this week in our Friday life group, even Jesus cannot do things on his own "I can do nothing on my own. As I hear, I judge, and my judgment is just, because I seek not my own will but the will of him who sent me." John, 5:30 and another verse about God's strength, Philippians 4:13,"I can do all things through him who strengthens me".

I desire to bring glory to God and be a testimony for him and I think he's ready for me to do what I need to do to stop letting food and my fears distract me from him and hold me back from the best that he has for me, and his plan for my life.

I pray that I can be an encouragement to you, as so many have been an unforgettable encouragement to me!!!

LSL <3

Friday, February 17, 2012

A few more tips

Ok so here are a few more things I picked up at Fitness Ridge.

It is important to eat BALANCED meals.
Whole grains, protein, fruit and veggies.
We can get into suggested servings sometime. What has been the MOST beneficial part of this balanced suggestion, is that I have spent the past 16 years cutting out SOMETHING. Sometimes it's white breads and pastas, sometimes it's even fruit or fat or all carbs, or red meat. BALANCED is what they suggest.

If you eat a whole grain and protein and a fruit at breakfast you will feel full and satisfied longer. You can skip the whole grains, but the fiber is great for you and keeps you full and will help you to not CRAVE more sugar later on.

They also suggest you NEVER eat a CARB WITHOUT PROTEIN. You will get a spike in your insulin levels and you don't want that!

Also they say always make a plan that INCLUDES your favorite foods. Feeling deprived won't help anyone!

Our bodies only recognize nutrition, NOT STUFF (processed junk).

We will feel fuller and healthier and more satisfied on whole foods.

If you KNOW you are a late snacker, SAVE calories for that snack! Don't pretend you aren't going to do something you ALWAYS do.

If you are an emotional eater, pick a specific food to "allow" yourself to eat if you are feeling crazy. Jen talked about having a specific food for that, like popcorn or someone else hid 45 calorie fudge pops in her freezer. Worst case scenario you eat the ENTIRE box and you have done less than 500 calories worth of damage. 500 calories can be undone.
"there is no GOOD OR BAD, there is only what you've done."

Journal EVERYTHING so you can keep track of what you are actually consuming so you know how to adjust.

If you are "afraid" to eat carbs. Some of us sometimes are, I have heard lots of people suggest (Bob Harper included) don't eat carbs at dinner, keep it lean and green. But if not having carbs at dinner makes you crave dessert before bed, eat a whole grain at dinner ;)

I hope some of you found this helpful ;)

LSL <3

Thursday, February 16, 2012

A few tid bits

Ok, so here are a few things I've picked up this past week that I think could help you as well.

Biggest Losers Fitness Ridge really is like a health and wellness spa/resort. So we didn't just have exercise classes, we also had lectures from a dietitian and a life coach.

Some ideas I really found helpful from the life coach, Jen.....

She always said,"create as many ways as possible to be right."
For example, instead of setting a specific limit of caloric intake,Like 1200 calories, set a goal RANGE, maybe 1200-1400.
For me, as a restrictive eater, all or nothing, if I set my goal for the day at 1200, but I ate 1250, all I accomplished was confirming the fact that I am a failure! :/ then what happens when I repeatedly feel like a failure? I eat :/
Also, a range for exercising, I typically exercise 5 days a week, sometimes more sometimes less. So I will set my range for 4-5 times a week. Is it the end of the world if I miss one workout? No, I can always workout more another day! Even the 4 days I DID go should be a victory, not a failure, because I missed one!

That being said, there is a lot of math we really should all know. I'm TERRIBLE at math so I'll give you the general gist and hopefully that will do it.
So I did RMR (resting metabolic rate) testing. I found out that my body will burn 2002 calories every 24 hours even if I were sleeping. This number is based on your weight, age, height, gender, muscle mass, and basically you. You can get a guesstimate on but as an example, since it doesn't have all the info that is you, that site said mine was 1700. It seems to me, that this info may be even more important the less weight you have to lose. :/ also this RMR # goes down approximately 100 calories every 10 pounds you lose.
So to lose ONE pound you need a 3,500 calorie deficit.
RMR+activity calories+exercise calories - what you eat.
2002 RMR
+400 activity
+500 calories burned in exercise
-1200 calories of food intake =1702 total calories deficit for the day.

1702 X 7=
= 3.4 pounds lost in one week

Ok I think that's right. IF that is correct, that's fine and good, but how realistic is it to stick to 1200 calories EVERY day? How practically can I burn 500 calories at the gym 7 days a week?

I WANT TO LOSE that much or more, but as these women have taught me,when I commit to a # like 500 everyday and ONLY 1200 calories I am committing to a certain lifestyle. Which is good, but maybe not practical.
Also just a tiny wrench to throw in... The machines at the gym don't know you either. Today the treadmill said I burned over 100 calories MORE than my Polar Watch (which has my info and heart rate). Over a weeks time that's A LOT!!!!

Oy! I'm sorry it's not all bad news!!! On the plus, if I am having a "bad" day or whatever, I can eat 2002 calories and know I will not GAIN weight. Knowing does seem to be half the battle. ;)
"Who cares what your IN is if you don't know what your OUT is". Jen We cannot just guess at our numbers without being wrong and\or disappointed with the results.

Sorry,that was a lot of info at the end, but it's important to know what kind of expectations we should REALLY have for ourselves. We need this info, I believe, to set realistic attainable goals.

More later <3


Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Home from Fitness Ridge

We made it!! Tamara and I are home from Biggest Losers Fitness Ridge!!! I think she lost 8 pounds and I lost 3, at the resort. And by the time I got home I was down 7 total for the week. :)

More importantly, I discovered that it was possible to be proud of myself and thru some classes I learned how not to view myself as such a failure so often. That doesn't sound like a very nice thing to say about myself, but it's true. I have been dieting for 16+ years and just getting fatter and fatter. I have lost hundreds of pounds all together and I have trained for and completed 2 half marathons, all without ever feeling proud of my accomplishments at all because in the end I was still fat! still a failure.....

Anyways,I was made aware of the fact that I felt that way because I wasn't really giving myself much of a chance, because I am a restrictive eater and pretty much all or nothing and I guess I possibly had some unrealistic goals and not great ways to achieve these goals. I was given some great tools to behave differently and get different results, by the life coach and dietitian there. It all makes much more sense now, and I am feeling more hope full about getting to my goal weight than I ever have before!! Yay!!

I'll post some tips later and maybe just an idea of what I am doing in case anyone is interested. :)

LSL <3

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Normal Eating

ok. something from tonights lecture.

Normal eating is being able to eat when you are hungry and continue until you are satisfied. It is being able to choose food you like and eat it and truly get enough of it; not just stop eating because you think you should. Normal eating is being able to use some moderated constraint in your food selection to get the right food, but not being so restrictive that you miss out on pleasurable foods. Normal eating is giving yourself permission to eat sometimes because you are happy, sad or bored, or just because it feels good. Normal eating is three meals a day, most of the time, but it can be choosing to munch along. It is leaving some cookies on the plate because you know you can have some again tomorrow, or it is eating more now because they taste wonderful when they are fresh. Normal eating is overeating at times;feeling stuffed and uncomfortable. It is also under eating at times and wishing you had more. Normal eating is trusting you body to make up for your mistakes in eating. Normal eating takes up some of your time and attention, but keeps its place as only one important area of your life. In short, normal eating is flexible. It varies in response to your emotions, hours, schedule, your hunger, and your proximity to food.

Remember that you don't have to eat a perfect diet to be healthy. Progress, not perfection is what counts. It is the whole diet, not just one individual meal or snack.

here's to healthy eating. :)


Fitness Ridge

ok so..sorry it has taken me so long to catch up. The schedule is pretty tight until after our last lecture at night and that usually ends between 7 and 7:30 and by then we are pooped, or doing laundry or watching BL :) or catching up with the fam.
One thing i need to share today is that.... this is not entirely the place i thought i was signing up for. I knew it had a spa and some classes but their focus really is no over all health. NOT JUST WEIGHT LOSS. That being said, they do not care if i lose 5 or 10 pounds while i am here.
I thought I would come here and potentially lose 5 to 10 lbs. Now that being said,,,i possibly could, but not most likely.
I just want you to know, so that you are not disappointed,because they are teaching me about so much more than i could imagine. that will hopefully lead to the dream, wich is being a leaner healthier me, with a healthy reationship with food, and will END THE DIETING CAREER!!!!!!

Tonight at the lecture i didn't' have a light bulb moment. But the dietitian did do a great job of teaching us the importance of having a healthy normal relationship with food. Which for 16 years, i have not.

they are teaching us.....
what foods are best to eat, and how to eat balanced meals.
how many calories to eat.
how to learn to intuitively eat(i.e. normal eating)
how to push ourselves.
how to walk into any fitness class and feel confident even if you have never attempted it before.
how to stretch properly.
how to feel good about ourselves basically.
how to overcome.
how to trust ourselves.
how to enjoy healthy whole foods.
how to cook them.
how to emotionally eat when necessary.
how to have a treat without feeling guilty.

if you are not a professional dieter, this may sound stupid, and I get that. But for me.... it IS GOOD. life changing, and priceless.

I expressed my disappointment that it is called BL's fitness ridge. that is just because the producer of the show, basically likes it here and they have a similar program.

that being said... they said tonight that we may not lose much in one week, because our body's are in shock basically, but in the next week or two, we can expect it to show up, if we keep up with a program they will help send us home with.

Thanks again for all the love and support!


Sunday, February 5, 2012

Schedule ;)

Fitness Ridge

Ok I'm not sure I'll be able to handle all the blessings. SERIOUSLY!!
Here's the last few hours. My loves dropped me off at the airport! <3 kisses and well wishes <3

My flight left on time. I did not pay to select a seat. Someone asked me to switch with him so he could sit with his group, I switched to an isle seat in row 9 (from 24). Beside two very tiny girls so I had tons of room!!!
The battery in my laptop lasted till the very end of Julie and Julia <3
Then I wrote in my journal that Margie gave me, with tons of fabulously appropriate scripture!!!!
Then I landed and got a text from her with a sweet prayer.
And an update that my boys still made it to church (jack was up all night coughing).
My flight landed EARLY and I caught the early shuttle, vs. spending an hour and a half at the airport!!! With only TWO other people in tow!!!
Then I just checked my email and went to post this horrible picture and turns out my camera IS WORKING!!!!
Yay God!!!!
That being said, I wanted to share my official weight this morning just incase I have a great week ;)
Well, I'm HAVING a great week, but you know what I mean. <3
Lots o love


Good morning!! Well I got up at 4am, out the door by 5. My sweet hubby and baby boy took me to the airport.
I LOVE that even though my little dude was passed out cold just before we got to the airport, he still woke up and gave me a squeeze and said,"I love you!!! Have FUN!!!." :) awe.....

Have I mentioned that I have the the best hubby on the planet!!! I'm so thankful for him!! He REALLY does want what's best for me an supports EVERY thing I've ever wanted to do! <3

I'll try and quit gushing now, but really I'm just feeling so thankful, supported, encouraged and loved <3

My parents will be helping with my son and I am eternally grateful!!!!

I know it's just one week away, but you fellow mommies know most days, a 15 minute shower is sometimes the most peace and quiet we can hope for in a day. I'm praying for rejuvenation and a jump start in my journey!!!
Of course for the moment I struggle with being so stinkin excited, I can't stand it!!!! And wishing Ej could have come with me and wishing I could be home with my kiddo.

Bout to get on the plane!!!! Love love love!